Just An Act
by LARunaway
Summary: The real reason why Jade hates Tori. Kind of… *TRIGGER Warning later chapters*
1. Chapter 1

"Fuck."

That was the best sex I've ever had. Better than Beck, which wasn't hard honestly, but over the summer all I've been doing is partying and pulling one night stands.

I finally understand why guys think girls are so clingy.

**The brunette next to me chuckles as she steadies her breathing.**

"We just did. Four times."

**She smirks at me. God, this girl is so hot.**

**I just roll my eyes at her and let a smile escape. **

**I don't even know her, but she pulls the rare "Jade" out of me.**

We hooked up at a party near Sherwood.

It's two weeks before I start my Junior year at H.A.

When school first let out for vacation, Beck and I decided to take a break from each other this summer.

I guess being away from each other for about 3 months is supposed to remind us why we stay together ever school year, but now I'm not really feeling it.

When we do get back together this year, I'll be doing it because it's what I know, it's comfortable, it's a status, and he's my best friend... At least my last hook up was the hottest one yet.

The girl next to me gets up and starts putting her clothes back on. Best sex of my life and SHE'S the one leaving.

This is a first. Usually I have to sneak away from these damn girls. Like I said before, I know why guys think girls are so clingy now.

**I decide to get dressed too. I don't even know what time it is, but I know it's morning now and I really should get home.**

"Ya, know I'm actually hoping I run into you again."

**She pulls me against her by my waist. I smirk and push her hair back, looking at all the little features of her face before locking eyes with her.**

**I wouldn't mind it.**

"Oh yeah? Why's that?"

**She leans in with her lips grazing mine.**

"You're just...so damn hot."

**Then she closes the gap, starting a heated make out session.**

**I tug on her bottom lip and pull away just enough to break the kiss. Her eyes are hooded staring at my lips.**

"I doubt we will. There's a reason why people like us go to parties in different cities."

**She laughs at that.**

"But if we do then we can take it as a sign."

"Hmmm...deal."

**_X_**

**_Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox_**

**_X_**

So Beck and I are back together now and it's...fine. Today's the first day of class. I told Beck I'd meet him and the rest of our "group" in Sikowitz.

**I walk into the classroom, same old, same old, till I hear some one apologizing profusely and I look in their direction.**

**What. The. Fuck.**

**I swear I nearly went into cardiac arrest. Then my body just went on autopilot, falling into my usual, ganky nature.**

"Dude, why're you rubbing on my boyfriend!"

Everyone froze. Especially her, but I couldn't read her. Yes, she LOOKED scared out of her mind, but it was an act. I put on an act every day; I know when someone's stopping their emotions from showing, but I don't know exactly _what_ emotions she's stopping.

**She falls into character instantly.**

" I-I'm so-sorry! I d-didn't mean to. It was an accident."

**She's good. Now Beck's going to be the nice guy he is and defend her.**

"Jade, babe, it's alright. It was accident."

**Told you.**

Sikowitz finally comes in (late) and starts the class. I found out her name is Tori Vega. She's from Sherwood high school, of course, and she's sticking to the whole "Sweet Sally Peaches" act. The class ended with her kissing Beck and me pouring coffee on her head. She ran out of the class crying, everyone made me apologize, and she became part of mine and Beck's little clique. When no one was looking she would send little smirks my way.

**She's real good. **

I had two more classes before lunch, she was in neither of them. I was disappointed.

I've never met anyone like her and I really couldn't get her off my mind, no matter how hard I tried.

The night we hooked just kept playing in my head.

The bell finally rang and I couldn't leave my class fast enough.

Just as I was passing the lockers, someone grabbed my wrist, pulled me into the janitor's closet and pushed me against the door, closing it.

**Tori.**

**Her mouth was on my neck and trailed to my ear.**

"God, you're so fucking hot," her voice rasped.

**A moan escaped my lips. I was so turned on right now. I found control of my body again and flipped us, pinning her to the door.**

I couldn't connect our lips fast enough. Her hands tangled in my hair and my hands held on to her bare hips. Her shirt had ridden up. She stifled a moan as I started nipping and kissing down her neck, being careful not to leave any marks.

I started to undo her dark blue skinny jeans and she bit her lip. Her face was flushed and her eyes were hooded from the sexual high we're currently giving each other. She literally couldn't be any hotter right now.

I reattached our lips as I put my hand down her pants.

**She's so wet. **

I ran my fingers between her slick folds and she moaned into my mouth and pushed her hips into me.

All of a sudden she jumped away from the door, pushing me away, but not hard.

I was confused till I saw the door handle shake. Tori fixed her clothes and soon enough the janitor opened the door. He was surprised when he first saw Tori, but then he frowned at me.

I glared at him, making him back down. I just rolled my eyes and grabbed Tori. I led us to the girls bathroom.

She still needs to clean the coffee off her and we can use that as an alibi if anyone asks where we were during lunch, which they will.

"They probably think I'm murdering you right now."

**She laughs. I'm helping her rub out the coffee from her shirt.**

"Yeah, well if I were them and didn't know any better I'd think so too. You got quite the reputation, Badass West."

"And you are quite the manipulator, Vega. I can't believe how well you pull off the whole sweet and innocent act."

"Impressed?"

**She's pressing her body against mine again and i'm pinned against the sink counter.**

**I shrug. **

"You're alright...my friends are just naive, idiots."

**I counter with a smirk.**

**She feigns hurt feelings and puts her hand over her heart. **

"Awe, and I thought I was doing so well. Guess I'll have to try _harder_."

**I just shake my head at her. Why do I feel like there's double meaning behind that.**

**She tilts her head to the side.**

"So you have a boyfriend?"

**Oh right. I just cheated. Only I don't feel like I did...**

"Right... Long story, but I think this year it's time for us to just be friends. I was actually going to talk to him after school today."

"Did I kill the power couple, because I don't think I can handle that much responsibility?"

**Oh my God, this girl is going to kill ****_ME._**

**I playfully push her away and roll my eyes.**

"You're too much and no. It's been a long time coming."

**Her face turns serious and she looks up at nothing in particular with her arms crossed.**

"I could have been coming if it weren't for the stupid janitor.."

**I bust out laughing. Mostly because I wasn't expecting her to say that.**

**She's smiling at me.**

"Good things come to those who wait, Vega. We should probably get something to eat before class starts again."

**Then the bell rings. She looks at me.**

"Or not?... You know if the janitor di-"

"OKAY! I get it"

**She's worse than a guy I swear, but I like it.**

**I smile and we head off to class, but not before falling into character.**

**X**

_**Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**_

_**X**_

Hoped you liked it. It was just an idea I had and a quick write. Not sure if I'll continue or leave as a One Shot. Also, still trying to figure out the best way to do Line Breaks.

Tell me what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

"I just... I don't want to do this any more. I love you and everything, but..."

"Yeah, no, I get it. You're right. We both know we're more like best friends than any thing else. I guess I was just waiting for you to break it off, ha."

**I smile at him.**

"I love you Beck. You'll always be my first everything and you were perfect."

**Then I roll my eyes**.

"Awe. I knew you couldn't pull the whole heartfelt break up off."

**He started laughing and I just push him off his bed while glaring at him.**

"Ow! Really Jade?!"

**I smirk and head for his trailer door.**

"Now hug me so I can get out of here. I got people to see and things to do."

"You mean people to do."

**I just raise my pierced eyebrow at him.**

"Jade.."

**I dramatically sigh.**

"Yes! Okay? You don't know them, though. Ill tell you about it later."

**Technically****_ I_** **don't even know her...**

"Fine you're excused."

**He hugs me.**

"See ya later dad!"

**I sarcastically call out as I walk out.**

**Definitely my best friend.**

_X_

_Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo_

_X_

_"__Home. That was a lot easier than I expected."_

**I texted Tori. We had exchanged numbers before we left school.**

_"__Hey sexy ;{) and good. So what u doin 2 night?"_

**I shake my head at her text as I lay down on my bed. **

**She would give her smiley a mustache.**

_"__Hmm.. well I was thinkin bout goin out n pullin a hit n run. ya kno since I'm newly single n all ;)"_

_"__Gasp! That poor victim! They're ganna fall in love n wake up heart broken! Least they'll get a good fuck before to remember you by."_

**Oh God. **

**Then my phone goes off again.**

"No seriously whatr u doin 2 night come 2 a party wid me."

**I contemplate this for a moment...**

"Okay. Send when n where"

**A minute later she sends me her address and the time 9pm.**

**Nice area. I inwardly groan because I have 4hrs to kill.**

_X_

_Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo_

_X_

**I'm currently knocking on the Vega's residence, in case you were wondering.**

**It doesn't take long for the door to open.**

"Trina?!"

**Trina Vega. How did I not put that together. Oh right, because she's an annoying, pathetic, talentless, materialistic girl, and nothing like Tori.**

**Then I see Tori coming down the stairs and she calls out to me.**

"Jade!"

**Trina turns to Tori.**

"Really! Jade West! What, was Ryder too _SAFE_ for you?!"

**Ryder? What the hell does that mean anyway!?**

**Tori see's I'm literally about to kill her sister and pulls her into the kitchen.**

**They start a whisper, scream war with dramatic gestures. Trina calms down, but she looks fed up and Tori just looks frustrated.**

"Fine. I'm not covering your ass any more."

**I hear Trina say as she heads back up stairs.**

**Uhhh...**

"Hey, give me five and then we can go?"

**I say it's fine and she heads back up stairs.**

**I'm not going to think about. Not EVEN going to think about it.**

"Okay, you ready."

**I stand up and start walking backwards towards the door.**

"Duh."

**She laughs at this.**

_X_

_Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo_

_X_

"CHAMPIONS!"

_Me and Tori throw our hands up as we kill our third game of Beer Pong._

**We're at some huge, ass mansion party in the Hills.**

_Tori leads me to the giant backyard. I sit down on the grass and she says she'll be right back._

**The view from this yard is** **_ALMOST_** **as incredible as mine. **

"Hey, sexy."

_She rasps out before sitting by me. I smirk at her._

_Then she puts a blunt between her lips and pulls out a lighter._

**So that's what she was doing. Crossfaded it is then.**

_She blows out smoke and then holds the blunt out to me._

_As I go to grab it she pulls it way._

**Really... She's really playing this game right now...**

"Oh, you want this?"

"Seriously Vega.."

**I deadpan. **

**She's smiling**

"Here."

_She takes a hit and then leans into me cupping my face with one hand. I catch on and close the gap._

_She exhales and I inhale. She pulls away and I blow out the smoke_.

**Wow, that was a really good hit, surprisingly.**

_I stand up and hold out my hand to her._

"Come on."

_Soon enough I'm leading us into an empty bedroom and pinning her against the, now shut, door._

We immediately fall into a heated make out session, so quickly it's like our life depended on it. Like we were addicts going through withdraw and we finally got our hands on our next high.

**It's like having her body against me is becoming a necessity. I really should remember to keep my feelings in check, though.**

She's pushing me on the bed and straddling me now. She starts nip down my neck and go to undo her pants.

She grabs them and pins them about my head while biting her lip and looking at me.

**Everything's so rushed.**

_She connects our lips again._

**Lip biting**

_I pull her shirt off._

**Hair tugging.**

_She returns the favor._

**Flushed faces.**

_I drag my nails down her sides._

**Erratic breathing.**

_She whimpers._

**It feels like heaven.**

_She's pulling my pants down now._

**These details are what I notice most. These details are what I'm supposed to solely focus on. **

_Her breath is teasing where I need her most._

"Tori."

_I breathe out._

_She smirks up at me when I look down._

**These details used to be the ONLY details I knew.**

_She puts her tongue against my clint and moans._

_I tangle my hands in her hair and try to keep my hips in place._

"Mmmph...Ahh...Fuck."

_She thrusts two fingers in me, working up to 4._

**God, she's so good.**

_It doesn't take long for me pull my bottom lip between my teeth, arch my back, and feel my muscles contract around her fingers._

**Any other details are dangerous. Details make it personal. Getting personal makes you vulnerable.**

**Vulnerable makes you don't care for details. Wests don't break, we break everyone else.**

**Inhale. Exhale.**

_I turn over and straddle Vega. _

"Your turn baby."

_She hungrily pulls me down to her._

**But what if they're already broken..**

X

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

X

**God, I'm so tired and...sore. I only got four hours of sleep last night.**

_As I'm about to head into the school, coffee in hand, someone pulls me behind a corner in the parking lot._

"Jade."

**Trina? Ugh, **

_I roll my eyes._

"Can't you find someone else to annoy this morning. Some guy to throw yourself at or something.."

_She pushes me against the wall, but not hard. _

**She looks so serious.**

"Jade, I'm trying to be serious right not. Look, I love my little sister and all bu-"

_I cut her off._

"We're not dating. I won't hurt her, so you don't have to give me the whole 'big sis' talk, okay? Don't worry."

**She's laughing?**

"Ha, no. I'm done worrying about her and looking out for her. Listen to me, Tori's a good person and she may seem all awesome and like your type of person, but she's not. She does bad things and hangs out with the wrong and I know YOU KNOW how convincing and manipulative she can be. I just want you to be aware of what you're getting yourself into..."

**She looks sincerely, dead serious right now...and it's kind of scaring me...**

"I'm kind of hoping you can put her in her place, but if you're just going to be like everyone else and fall in love with her and no-"

"I DON'T fall for any one. Not even Beck."

**Venom was in my voice. That was easy...but I can't help, but second doubt my face..**

_Trina just crosses her arms and raises her eyebrow at me. The corners of her mouth teasingly tug upward._

"Sure, Jade. We'll pretend you DON'T look at her like everyone else did before she trashed them... Not Ryder, not Seth, not Lindsey, Colton, Derek, Emma, Sutton, Jacob, not anyone who's ever laid next her on a bed with their lungs grasping for oxygen just praying she'll actually stay, she won't get up and smoothly change the subject, like she's done so many times before, making you not even guess it's not that she doesn't want to stay, it's the fact that you're probably in someone else's house and you should eat or get ready for school and she'll say she hopes to run into you again. She does it so well she can get people to respond like they have the upper hand, if you see her again then it's a sign. Sound familiar?"

**My lips are parted and I really can't respond.**

"Only this time, you DID see her again and it wasn't by choice like how she usually decides if she wants someone to actually stay around for awhile. So...I'm asking you...please, don't let her get in your head. You're the first person who might actually have a chance.."

**I study her face a bit. It's too much. I shake my head. It's all ridiculous and I'm a WEST. I have a reputation for being cold and heartless for a reason. I don't need a warning.**

"Whatever, Trina. Thanks for the warning and all, but I think I can take care of myself."

_I roll my eyes at her and walk away. I hear her huff in frustration and mumble to herself._

_I walk to my locker switching out my stuff for class. The halls are empty. I always get to school early._

"Morning beautiful."

**I look up to see a smiling Vega leaning to the side against the lockers. I raise my eyebrow at her.**

"How are you not dying right now? My espresso didn't even wake me up?"

_Cue yawn._

**She just chuckles and moves closer to me.**

"Here."

_She takes my hand and puts a pill in my palm._

**I look up at her wait for an explanation.**

"It'll wake you."

**Stone face. She rolls her eyes.**

"It's speed."

**what.**

"Seriously, Vega!"

"Hey, ssshhh.. Relax it's just Adderall. All the kids with 4.0s take it so they can study all night. One time's not going to hurt."

"And how many times have you done it?"

"Enough to know one time isn't going to hurt."

**She's smirking.**

Touche'. Not in a good way, but touche'.

_I shrug. I swallow the pill while ignoring Trina's rant that's echoing in the back of my mind._

**I look up at Tori and she's studying my face. **

"What?"

**A soft smile appears on her face.**

"You're just...really pretty."

_She intertwines our fingers._

**I can't help, but smile. Trina's ridiculous.**

_I lean in by Vega's ear as people start to fill the hallways for class._

"Don't break character."

**I rasp. I start heading towards Sikowitz's class, leaving a stunned Tori Vega behind to soon follow.**

X

Xoxoxox

X

**_HEEEYYYY. I got good feed back so I decided to continue. I wrote this chapter last night, but it got erased so I had to re-write it. Still trying to figure out the writing style I want. I broke it up at the party scene for Jade's thoughts. Hope it didn't bother you too much. Always, I apologized for any errors I've made. I don't really review everything before posting because I don't have patience. You know what to do. Thanks for reading!_**


	3. Chapter 3

**Heads up for the beginning the song is To the Hills (Dillistone Remix) by Laurel**

**_Enjoy!_**

X

X0x0x0x0x0x0

X

**_~Tori~_**

_**If to the hills cry the hills**_

_**Of the crocodile's lost feet on the road**_

_**Said I love you so, I don't have to be alone**_

_**Smoke fast. Out the door, left heart, **_

_**But in the end you killed them all**_

_**Sun is coming up, too early, my Valentine**_

_**XxxxxxXXXxxxxxxXXXXXXXxxxx**_

I'm sitting up in bed, bare, wrapped in sheets, looking out the window.

**It's sunrise.**

**Lips parted, I exhale smoke and put out the cig on the night stand.**

"Hey, baby."

**Oh, this isn't my bed by the way. It's some girl's I met last night. Krissy, Kelly...no Kristen?**

**Whatever. **

**I stand up and get dressed.**

"Don't go."

**I put a smile on my face before turning to her.**

"Sorry, I've got school babe."

**She sits up.**

"So ditch school. Study anatomy with me."

**She's giving me a seductive look.**

**Hmm...as tempting as that sounds...it doesn't. I honestly only used her so I wouldn't have to go home and fight with Trina again.**

**I rather be with Jade. God that girl is fire. I definitely want to keep her around for awhile. What time is it...**

"Fuck, sorry I really gotta go!"

**I grab my stuff and I'm out of the house before she can even call out to me.**

**Damn it, where am I...**

I walk down the corner of the street just so I'm not in front of what's her face's house and so I can call for help.  
I'm not even sure how I got to her house actually...I just know I met her at some party last night.

**Trina won't help... I'm not dating Jade, but I don't really wanna be like, 'Hey can you pick me up from some girl's house.' and I don't really know anyone well enough to...**

I stop mid thought and call a certain someone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, I need a ride to school... Can you get me?"

"Uhh, yeah sure. Where're you at?"

**I give him the cross roads, hang up, sit on the curb and wait.**

**Ten mins later an all black Yamaha bike pulls up. The driver pulls off his only helmet and hands it to me.**

"Heard there was a damsel in distress."

**He's wearing a smug grin. **

"Shut up, Ryder. Just drive and don't crash, that's all I ask."

**I put the helmet on and get on the back of his bike, holding onto him.**

"Yes, ma'am."

**We sped off.**

X

Xxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

X

"Thanks for the save."

**I hand Ryder's helmet back. I'm about to walk off, but he grabs my wrist.**

"Tori, wait."

**I look at him expectantly.**

"What're you doing with Jade?"

**I roll my eyes and cross my arms.**

"I know you're new here and all, but come on. Jade has a reputation for a reason."

"Awe is Ryder worried about me?"

"No, just... She's stubborn and cold and heartless. You can't play her, she won't let your bullshit pass..kind of like you"

**I just smile.**

"Oh really? Well, YOU of all people should know that I find people like me the_ MOST _interesting and so far she's not turning out to be a disappointed _UNLIKE_ you."

"Ha. God, so you're falling for her then?"

"I don't fall for _ANYONE_, but she's already falling for me."

**His face drops.**

"What do you mean.."

**I smirk.**

"The way she looks at me...it's the same way you and everyone else looked at me."

"You mean before you tossed us aside like your little play thing."

**Someone's bitter. He shakes his head at me.**

"You're not going to break her. She's not like us."

"It's all an act Ryder! In reality she's exactly like everyone else, vulnerable, guarded, and just wants someone to give a fuck."

**He's in my face now and I just glare back, eyes locked.**

"No! She's exactly like_ YOU_! Broken, pathetic, uses people for her own five second high, and acts like a cold, hearted bitch who can't feel love."

**Okay, now I'm pissed.**

"You done?"

"No, one more thing. The only reason why you _WON'T_ be able to break her is because _UNLIKE_ you she actually has had a shitty life growing and has felt a lot _LESS_ love than you. You don't know her fucking life Tori! You want to try and play mind games with someone who's had to beat experts at it her whole life? Go a head, I can't wait to see you finally be put in your place. Tori, your a fucking ungrateful bitch who's going through one little hardship, it doesn't mean you turn to stone and crush everyone else in your path."

**He doesn't know SHIT about me!**

I can't help it. Before I know it, Ryder is on the ground and I'm walking thing we got to school early.

**God, what's wrong with me... Ryder almost got to me. He brought up too many details. **

**I don't want to think and wonder about Jade's past it's pointless.**

**But I'm thinking she deserves better, why would she be put through all that, it's not fair and I shouldn't even care.**

**Details, details, ****_fucking_**** details. **

"Damn it!"

**I punch a locker. **

**Great. Now my hand is throbbing. I don't even remember walking into school. **

I go to the bathroom and try to look decent, you know since I didn't get to go home last night like a normal person, but that's why I keep dry shampoo, a brush, makeup, and extra clothes in my locker.

**Yep, not the first time.**

**People start coming in and I walk out the bathroom. I immediately see Jade talking to an overly hyper Cat and Beck.**

"Nope. Not happening."

**I duck my head and try to walk out the school without them seeing, but Jade does. Of course she does. **

**I'm midway through the parking lot and she grabs me.**

"Hey, where're you going?"

**She looks concerned... Stop it Tori.**

"Uhhh, just not feeling school today."

**I try to smile for reassurance of being okay.**

"Okay, well want me to come with? Haven't really hung out since monday. We could go to the beach?"

**Three days away from her and she never left my mind. That's a problem.**

"Yeah, sure."

**No, the word is NO.**

X

Xoxoxoxo

X

"It's pretty cloudy for a beach day don't you think?"

**We're sitting on the sand watching the waves. Jade's studying me.**

"It's my favorite kind of weather for a beach day. No one's around and there's this serene vibe ya know?"

**I smile at her. She nods. Her eyes are really blue right now, like how the ocean can be a deep blue on a stormy day, but you can still see clearly to the ocean floor.**

"Tori?"

**My heart's beating really fast.**

"Huh?"

"You're thinking too much. You really need to stop."

**She's smirking. She's really close to me. She's running her finger down my neck.**

"Yeah?"

**She's straddling my lap. She's pushing off my jacket. She's dragging her fingers across my cheeks, chuckling in my ear.**

**She's stealing the air from my lungs. **

**I want it back.**

**I grab the back of her neck and pull her lips to me. My other hand is teasing the skin under her shirt.**

**Ryder's wrong.**

"Tori.."

I'm in control.

**I smirk against her lips and pull back to peck her nose.**

**She laughs and its music to my ears.**

**Wait...**

**She's giving me those seductive eyes and biting her lip. God, what's control...**

**I can't stop myself and the words tumble out..**

"I really like you Jade"

**It was just a whisper, but it happened. It's real. God, I said it and now it's real.**

**She's reading me and it's the first time I've ever been an open book for anyone since I decided to change. **

"I think..I really like you too."

**And she has that look again. The look I know all too well. I still have the upper hand and If I play it right I won't be the one who's left broken in all this.**

She buries her face into the crook of her neck while sitting in my lap now and I wrap my arms around her, resting my chin on her shoulder.

**Old Tori would've put everyone before her. Get hurt instead of hurting. But I refuse to go back to that. **

**I take in Jade's scent. Everything feels so perfect right now.**

Jade doesn't deserve to be hurt though... She makes me feel like my old self. All I want to do is protect her.

**Protect her from me.**

X

Xoxoxoxox

X

**Hey! Okay so it's a short chapter! I actually tried to review everything this time because let's face it, the last chapter had WAY too many errors and that bothers me a ton since I'm ocd and a perfectionist. Hope this was better! The lyrics in the beginning are from _To The Hills (Dillistone Remix) by Laurel_ **

**if you didn't catch that in the beginning I thought if fitted Tori well. Anyways, the next chapter will be more about what's going on with Tori and why she changed etc.**

**You know what to do! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry I've been gone. I moved to Cali for a short period of time then moved back to AZ. I have about 4 chapters written though and I'll post them after I get enough feedback from each one. I wrote this like a normal person for once. The previous chapters where supposed to be inner thoughts BOLD and the rest regular unless said otherwise, but it's too hard for me to separate inner thoughts and narration parts since I write those as inner thoughts and it just looks like I put everything in BOLD and I don't want all of you to be like WTF is this. Annnyyywaaasssyyy recommended for song for the party scene is Six Days At The Bottom Of The Ocean by Explosions In The Sky and I marked when you should press play as you read through sooooooo here ya go!**

**X**

**X**

**X **

**-Jade-**

"Pleeeeaaasseee"

She's giving me the puppy eyes.

"You know I hate parties."

Her face drops.

I'm sitting on her couch **_trying_** to watch tv, but she's straddling me. It's Saturday afternoon and I'm just now realizing...where are her parents?...

"Says the girl who went to parties every night of her summer vaca."

I look at her and she puts her hopeful face back on.

"It'll be fuuuuuuun."

She starts wiggling her eyebrows.

Ugh. I start laughing.

"Fine."

"Yay!"

She gives my nose a quick kiss and hops off me.

"But I won't like it!"

Just so we're clear.

"Why do I feel like something is happening and I won't like it."

Trina just walked down stairs and so the Vega sisters' feud begins.

I wish I had some popcorn...

"We're having a kickback."

Trina starts laughing, you know in that 'yeah right' kind of way.

"No, no, no, just cause mom's working night shift doesn't mean trash the house."

"Relax, I'll take care of everything okay? You never yelled at me for all the other times."

"Wait...What other times? You weren't even living here!"

Pretty sure everyone just froze because we all just heard what Trina said and I don't think I was supposed know that.

Tori sighed.

"Exactly! So it's fine."

Trina kept switching her line of sight from Tori to me.

"Fine. Just make sure everything is cleaned up by 6, that's when mom gets off."

Trina grabbed her keys, already looking like she was headed somewhere in the first place, and left.

My eyes locked with Tori's, questioningly and I could see her locking away the answers behind all her walls.

**X**

**X**

**X**

**(Recommended 'Six Days at the Bottom of the Ocean' by: Explosions In The Sky)**

This isn't a kickback, it's a full blown party and mostly everyone seems to have made good use of the pool and Jacuzzi. I am not helping her clean this up later.

"It's Tori isn't it."

"Damn it Beck, don't sneak up on people like that."

He's grinning ear to ear and I want to punch him, but I'll withhold.

"Come on, that person you fell for.. it's Tori right?"

"Why would you **_ever_** ask that?"

"Well first off you hate parties and you're here and I didn't even have to beg you through text like usual and it's not summer vaca."

True.

"Second...you're always looking at her. I don't think you even realize it half of the time and it's not just looking at her it's the way you do...like when we first started dating and you would look at me like that except with her it's more...intense, like you're connect by a thin string and you don't want it to snap."

I blink...what.

"That was quite the analogy..."

"Sooooooo..."

"We're not together."

I simply say and walk away to get a drink.

Course he follows.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean you didn't fall for her?"

I'm annoyed.

"I don't fall for anyone Beckett, you know that."

Kay, that's some strong Jungle Punch.

"Sure, ice queen, black heart, made of stone, right. Then I guess you won't be so obsessively jealous when you see Tori making out with Tris.

I stop mid sip and put my red cup down.

Following his line of sight, I turn around.

True to his word, in the back corner there was Tori making out with Tris, hands on her waist, oblivious to their surroundings and all.

I saw red and just as I started moving Beck stopped me.

"She's not yours, remember"

He's right. We're not. I don't know what we are. We act like a couple, it's not just benefits anymore, but what do you call people who are past fuck buddies, past friends with benefits, but aren't labeled as a couple...**denial**.

Where's Ryder when you need him.

I storm off in the opposite direction of said girl who begged me to be here in the first place. Beck's calling after me, but I ignore him as I head upstairs and open the guest bedroom. I know my way around the Vega's house pretty well now.

"Hey.."

It's barely a whisper, but I hear him. He looks at me like...like he already knows. He's siting on the ground and he just did a line and I'm about to join him. I don't normally do hardcore drugs, but there are times when I make exceptions..

"I'm sorry. It's what she does ya know? She makes you feel like you're different, but then she treats you like all the rest..."

He talks softly and his voice is scratchy, but I like how it touches my ears and makes my body hum.

"Normally I'd say they all deserve it, they give it up so fast, but...you really are different, Jade. I don't care what she says, she's lying to push you away and you don't deserve it. If you really want her, then push back, but you deserve better..."

His skin looks warm from his tan and soft. I just want to touch him.

I have no thoughts, I just do and what I do is put my hand on the back of his neck and run my fingers up through his hair.

We're so close. Like reading my mind, he leans in and kisses me. I want her, but tonight I _need_ him.

So I kiss back. Soon clothes are discarded and we're on the bed. It's all a blur, but I know it was great because I was numb.


	5. Chapter 4 Pt2

**Sorry these chapters are short the next ones will be longer!**

**BTW yes, Tris is 'Tris' from Divergent. I also think I figured out the formatting…maybe?**

**Bold is inner thoughts**

**_Bold italicised _****emphasis or sarcasm whatever you'll know.**

**Everything else is narration and dialogue**

**So ****_THERE_**** you go! **

**P.S. Since this is my FIRST story it's basically my experimental story to figure out everything liiiiike formatting! **

**I have other stories written out that I might post later. Anyways and ADVICE on this story would be great and go easy! Like I said It's my first story. **

**Thank you all so much! **

**X**

**X**

**X**

**-Jade-**

**Did you assume I passed out? I didn't.**

**How does anyone pass out while on coke... Well Ryder did after we finished.**

It was only 2am, plenty of time to get out of here.

**Crossfaded on coke and vodka, not smart kids.**

Fully clothed, I walk out of the room to see the party is still raging and it's really loud in here.

**I really need to get home before I come down from my high.**

"The fuck!"

I turn to see Tris being pushed out of Tori's room. I can't see Tori, but Tris is standing outside the doorway yelling.

"Really Tori!"

"Good fuck now **_leave_**!"

Tori slams the door in her face.

**Wow.**

"Ugh, BITCH!"

Tris storms off past me.

**Dare I check on her...**

My heart is pounding so hard.

**No.**

I start walking downstairs.

"Jade!"

**Damn it. Just keep walking Jade. Pretend you don't hear her.**

I get out to my car before she turns me around.

**She really followed me all the way out here..**

"Where you going?"

**And I thought _I_ was high. Her eyes are majorly dilated. **

"Home."

I try to open my car again, but she just pushes me back against my car.

"What!"

**I don't want to do this right now.**

"Damn why're you so upset?"

"I'm not! Just let me go so I can get home before my crash hits."

I roll my eyes when she grabs my waist.

**High Tori is my least favorite.**

"Stay the night with me."

She's smirking.

"No, Tori."

I push her away.

"You're not interested anymore?"

"Nope."

"That's a fucking lie."

**I'm mad and I just want to go home and it kind of just hurts to look at her right now.**

"And you're totally **_not_** high"

Sarcasm dripped off as I finally opened my door.

I get in, but her hand is on the door. I death glare her.

"You're high too"

"Uh yeah. Hence why I'm trying to leave before my crash. Plus, I'm not the one who just chased a girl all the way to her car and is currently arguing with her, keeping her from leaving. Who's the one here that's **_really_** interested, Vega?"

**Silence…That's what I thought. **

"Is that why I'm the only one you've been sleeping with since summer while I've been with someone different every night we're not together?"

**She thinks she's so fucking smart. **

My body's getting heavy. I start laughing and she's confused. I get out of my car.

"God, you think you can just play anyone don't you? But you only just started playing this game while I've been playing it my whole life. Did't your parents ever tell you not to play with fire or you'll get burned?"

Next thing I know I'm pushed up against my car and her hand is on my chest.

"If you're not interested then why's your heart beating so fast."

**Really. She's so stubborn to the point of annoyance. **

I switch our positions, pinning her against my car. I shove my hand down her pants and run two fingers between her while my other hand is pushed over her mouth. She's breathing hard.

I can't help, but smirk as I lean in by her ear.

I mock her..

"If you're not interested then why're you so wet."

**I'm going to rationalize that all my actions are the drugs.**

I push away from her, ignoring the slight cold breeze I now feel on my wet fingers.

"When you're high off coke your heart tends to race and when you're acting like a whore you tend to get wet easily, but under these circumstances I guess we can't say for sure."

**She's finally sobering up and her eyes are locked with mine.**

"Hurt people **_hurt _**people. I get it, but I'm not someone you can just play mind games with and I know that **_YOU_** know that. You and I both know that we're past all that benefits shit, we're more than that. Everyone can see it, but you want to act like a fucking heartless player, then fine. At least I can admit all this shit. You won't even tell your own sister what's wrong with you, at least tell her if not me or even Ryder. **_Let someone in__!_**…

**She doesn't look so mad now, just focused.**

"Maybe you're not who you used to be, but this isn't you either. You're not numb and you can't just ignore feelings. As long as you want to **_act _**like this and play this game, then no, I'm not interested and you'll lose every time."

I get in my car, but before I shut my door…

"I fucked Ryder, by the way. He's probably still passed out in the guest bedroom if you don't believe me."

**Her face drops and it hurts. Call me a hypocrite, but I ignore it because she needs a reality check.**

"Yeah, that's your heart being ripped apart. How's that for being numb."

I finally close my door and drive off.

**I'm a West and we don't lose or let feelings get the best of us.**

**She's a wreck and she needed this.**

I don't think twice about it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Yay for long a long chapter! The song for the start of the story is Lucy by Skizzy Mars and I wrote the first scene to that song.**

**Remember Bold is inner thoughts. Bold _italicized is emphasis or sarcasm or whatever you'll get it._**** Two paragraphs in here are all italicized and you'll see that they're either a dream or a memory. The rest is regular for narration and dialogue. Oh and then there's the Text messages in the beginning which you'll understand. Okay! Enjoy!**

**X**

**X**

**X**

But you are only twenty, Lucy  
You don't know what love will do to you

Have you acting funny, doing shit that its so unusual  
She said "You keep this up, I swear you gonna lose me"

Met her on a Tuesday, I remember loosely  
So I probably gonna drink about it  
You just want to use me, put it in a song  
I still love her, she's my Lucy

Damage from the last, so I focus on the first  
Probably settle with the next, cause it just couldn't be worst  
I'm hurt

She said "hurt people, hurt people," yeah...

**-Tori-**

(Continued from Jade driving off)

I wipe off the tears streaming from my face. I feel like my whole body is on fire.

Just then I lean over, pulling my hair back as I throw up all the self numbing contents from my stomach.

I do that about four times before I can finally sit down in the middle of the street. My abs are burning and my throat is scratchy.

I feel my phone vibrate and I pull it out.

***27 Text Messges***

**God.**

I start scrolling through them...

_'House better be cleaned up!' _**_-Sis (Trina)_**

_'Got the hook up be upstairs' _**_-Ryder_**

_'What're you doing you're supposed to be with Jade!' _**_-Ryder_**

_'You have to fuck up everything don't you!'_**_ -Ryder_**

_'You need to find Jade' _**_-Beck_**

_'Come do shots with us girl! ;D' _**_-Tommy_**

_'I can't believe you said her name while fucking Tris!' _**_-Best Friend (Emma)_**

**Wait...**

I reread what my best friend from Sherwood just sent me…over…and over…and over…and **_over._**

More texts.

_'So Jades who you're all messed up over' _**_-Best Friend_**

_'Can't find Ryder but told me to kick people out 3 k.' _**_-Beck_**

_'Tris just started ranting off to me about you and stormed out lol You got it bad tho huh' _**_-Best Friend_**

_'Found him he's passed out in the guest room ' _**_-Beck_**

"Ugh!"

**Did you hear that? That was the sound of my iPhone shattering against the asphalt because I just threw it. **

**Great.**

Finally able to stand up, I just now noticed people are, or have been, in the process of leaving.

"Tori!"

**Emma.**

"You're trashed. You should get some sleep. Some guy, Beck I think, is kicking out everyone for you so no worries. Oh, and you should probably steer clear of Tris for awhile. I like Jade better anyway, she doesn't take shit. See you later babe!"

**Yeah, she definitely doesn't. I'm glad I didn't have to talk; don't think I could if I tried.**

I watch Emma leave in a car with a few people I recognize from my old school before I start walking back inside.

**X**

**X**

**X**

**_Two Week Later…_**

"Are you ready yet? I don't feel like being late today."

**Ryder's standing in my doorway like he has been every morning this week and I want punch him till I pass out for what he did with Jade, but I never bring it up**

**because I have a feeling I'll lose that fight some how and end up feeling worse.**

"Why're you here again?"

"You know why."

He walks up to me and lightly grabs my chin with his hand to inspect my face.

"Make sure you go to school and not back to fight club. You're almost all healed up… That had to be the stupidest thing you've done yet. How's your ribs?"

I pull away from him and grab my stuff.

"Fine. Let's go so I don't have to hear you complain the whole way there."

**X**

**X**

**X**

**-Jade-**

"So are you guys done?"

Beck asks as he takes his usual seat next to me. We're in Sikowitz class waiting on his late ass as always.

"What does that even mean, are we done? Done with what?"

**Tori was gone all last week, out "sick," sure she was. At a glance she looks perfectly fine physically, but if you know her body like I do and you really look, **

**you can see her left cheek is slightly bruised and her bottom lip is cut. Ryder won't tell me what happened he just said he has it under control, whatever that means.**

Beck just shrugs.

"I don't know. Whatever your little arrangement was, I guess… Doesn't seem like it's working much anymore."

I glance over at Tori sitting in the back left corner by herself. It's Thursday and she hasn't talked to me or our usual group since she's been back.

I only see her with Ryder or Trina now. She stopped dressing like flowers and prep and started wearing her normal badass, "fuck you, I run you" clothes, i.e. leather

jacket, purple v-neck shirt, dark blue (almost black) skinny jeans and black boots, and other clothes of that nature.

"I'm over it."

"Alright class, today we'll start with an acting exercise to get your youthful minds going! Beck, Tori, Cat, Andre to the stage."

I watched Tori as she didn't even make an attempt to move out of her chair.

"Tori, I called you to the stage."

"No."

She said it so simple.

**She also stopped putting on that perfect prissy act.**

Everyone gasped.

"Tori!" Cat.

"Tori, what're you doing?" Andre.

"Girl got attitude, I like it" Rex.

I rolled my eyes.

"Just pick someone else."

I exasperated to Sikowitz.

"No, I want Tori to do the exercise."

**God, why!**

"I'm not doing this bullshit."

She mutter before walking out of school right then and there.

**What the hell. **

I put my face in my hands.

**X**

**X**

**X**

"So are we going to talk about how miss sunshine became hot and flipped to the dark side or what?"

"REX!"

Our group shouted in unision.

I grabbed Rex and threw him across the courtyard somewhere.

"Rex!"

And now Robbie went to go fetch.

**Lovely. **

"Seriously though, what's up with Tori?"

**Damn you Andre.**

"She doesn't talk to me or listen to my stories anymore…"

"It's okay little red, you still got us."

Andre rubs Cat's back for reassurance. I don't even realize I'm murdering my salad with my fork till Beck pulls me out of my trance.

"Jade… Guys, Tori's probably just going through some tough stuff with family or something. We should just give her space, ya know."

Andre and Cat voice their 'yeahs.'

"Whatever."

I get up and trash my salad, before walking back to grab my bag.

"I gotta work on a project."

**It wash't a lie, I had to work on a script and lucky me, my partner is Ryder. It'll be a miracle if we get through this without me stabbing him with my scissors. **

I work on the script **_by myself _**during lunch so the base of it will be done. I then endure my last two classes of the day, which really wasn't as bad as I'm making it sound.

Anything to keep my mind busy is a plus….

**-After School-**

**It's after school now and I'm at the beach. Why? Because she's here and I care…no matter how hard I try not to. **

"What're you doing."

I sit down by her on the sand.

"Watching the waves."

"No, what are you doing talking back to Sikowitz and walking out of school like that?"

"Well maybe I'm tired of putting on that stupid act. Trying to be who I used to be, who everyone loved so much. I'm not that anymore."

"Great, that doesn't mean lash out on people and walk out. You're smarter than that. You never had to act for me..."

She finally turns to look at me.

"Well none of this was for you to begin with."

She's searching my eyes, but then she starts to shake her head.

"I can't do this."

She stands up and starts walking toward her Camaro.

"What the fuck happened to you!"

She stops mid step.

"God, one second I feel like I can actually see you, the real you. Then you get this look in your eyes, like you just realized you're actually feeling something and you start panicking

inside and you think you cover it up so well and you DO...for everyone else who hasn't had the pleasure of dealing with people like you their whole life. What happened to you, Tori?

What made you so determined to be numb from the rest of the world?"

I just stood there. She turned around, stone face and walked up to me.

She sucked her bottom lip in then smiled.

"Well I certainly picked the wrong girl to get involved with. So your shitty life gave you the skill set to read me. You don't know me, Jade!"

**She's right in my face. She knows she's falling apart. I can see it in her eyes and she's grasping and claw-clinging inside to keep her composure. She does it.. with a forced smile.**

"But how could you? I push everyone away right? Everything is a game to me. Everyone is just a toy to me. Hit and run. Make them fall in love with me and trash them when I'm done...including you. You're not special, Jade!

Everyone may say that you're different to me, you make the old me come out, I look at you differently than the rest that I've kept around, and blah, blah, blah, right? Wrong.

You know what everyone says about you? You're in love with me. You already fell for me didn't you? I can see it in your eyes.

I'm just as good as you at reading people. I don't need to let you in... I'm already in your head. This is the part where I lose interest in you, game over."

**Everything has to end in a giant, dramatic argument with this girl, doesn't it.**

She started walking off to her car. Just as she was opening the door I came up behind her and pushed it shut. She turned around and I leaned into her smirking.

"You think I fell for you? That's quite the ego you got there Vega. You really are mental, you know that?"

I pushed my hand against her chest (over her heart) and grabbed the back of her neck and ghosted my mouth over her ear.

I chuckled.

"You feel that?"

Her breathing became shallow and she exhaled out her mouth.

"Pretty sure that's **_YOUR_** heart pounding out of your chest. You're so fucking scared."

I brushed my lips against hers. Her eyes closed.

"But you don't have worry about me anymore."

I pulled back. She almost looks disappointed, but she covers it quickly.

"I only came here in the first place to make sure you're not doing anything stupid and to tell you I'm done with whatever this is between us. So congrats, you get what you wanted."

She opens her mouth to say something, to stop me from walking away, but she hesitates and then settles for nothing as she gets in her car.

I roll my eyes and start walking off.

"God, you rather die before you let yourself **_feel_**something."

I muttered to myself out of frustration, but she heard it and froze before closing her door.

"Die?"

Her brows furrowed and she looked at nothing in particular while, what appeared to be, lost in thought.

"...I'm already dead."

Then she took off.

**What does that mean...**

**X**

**X**

**X**

"Hey"

I push past Ryder.

"Why yes, Jade. Please come in and sit down."

**Har, har, he's so funny.**

I sit down on his couch and drop the rough draft of our script down on the table.

"Can we just get this over with."

He sits down next to me.

"What, you don't want it slow and painful?"

He chuckles at his words.

**Well isn't he on a roll today.**

He nudges me.

"Hey, come on. I'm just messing. What's wrong?"

I shake my head and let out a sigh.

"Nothing, just a long day."

"What, cause Tori?"

"Doesn't matter. I told her were done with whatever. Can we just finish this please?"

**I just want to do this stupid assignment.**

"Wait, you told her you're done?"

**Um, panicking much?**

"Yeaaaah…. Why does that matter."

**He's fidgeting, but controls it.**

"Nothing…Nothing, no reason just wondering. You're right we should do this."

**No, just let Ryder deal with it and be done. Just focus on the script.**

**X**

**X**

**X**

_'Hey.' _

_Pale lips greet me with a smile and a kiss._

**_Messy, brunette hair, brown eyes, tan skin, its a beautiful contrast to her white sheets and comforter._**

_I smile_

_'Hey beautiful.' _

_She chuckles._

_'You know… if anyone knew what we did our reps would be ruined.'_

_She straddles me in her sleep shorts and her tank, which had ridden up a bit revealing her warm, tan skin._

_We interlace our hands together. She leans down, my hands supporting her, keeping her from falling on my all together._

_'Well, we can't have that can we? Guess we'll just have to stay a secret.'_

_I smirk at her and let go of her hands, but she catches herself. Her hands are both sides of my head and my hands are on her hips with my thumbs rubbing over her exposed hip bones._

**_She has really soft skin and I just want to touch every inch of her._**

_Our eyes are locked and she smiles before pecking my lips._

_'I think I could live with that if I get to wake up like this every morning. You're so beautiful, Jade.'_

_My chest tightens and I close the gap._

**_It's so easy for us to melt into each other. Like second nature._**

"Jade. Hey, Jaaaade."

**Bet you didn't know that side of us. No one does except us…**

"Huh?"

He's laughing.

"Where'd you go just now?"

"Uh, just zoned out."

"Okay, you ready to go?"

**He has a nice smile**.

It's a cloudy Saturday morning and I'm at Ryder's. We decided to get coffee this morning.

"Yeah, let's go."

**We've been hanging out a lot more lately since we did that script together. We got an 'A' on it by the way and that was a week ago. He's not so bad. **

**We have stuff in common like his parents aren't the greatest…he's a foster kid actually. That explains a lot.**

We get on his yamaha and he hands me a helmet.

**We never talk about Tori unless I bring it up, which I'm thankful for. **

We sit down at a table with our coffee inside. It's a bit cold out this morning.

**He starts telling me about the little foster kid he helped take care of. He likes to think of them as his little siblings. **

**The stories make me laugh. He knows I have a little brother and a soft spot for kids…and bunnies.**

**Him, Beck, and Cat are the only ones that know about that.**

**I start telling Ryder some of my stories. We start laughing so hard I have to get the words out in-between laughs.**

"…and he…was **_completely_** covered in…spaghetti!"

"Oh my…God. I need to meet him sometime."

I take a sip of my coffee.

"Mmm…. Yeah, he's great. A wild one for sure, but he's great."

"So what're you up to today?"

I shrug.

"I don't know. Just homework I guess. It's actually nice just staying at home and not getting trashed and ending the night with drama, ya know?"

"Yeah, I definitely agree with you on that. I'm so behind in school right now."

"So you're day's the same as mine then?"

He chuckles.

"Yeah, I suppose so."

**I just realized how much better he's looked lately, like he doesn't look as exhausted as he used to.**

"You've actually been getting sleep?"

"I look better huh? You do too. It's amazing what one person can do to you.. Sorry."

"No, it's okay. Yeah, sooo…you stopped being her protector or what?"

I tease him.

"Ha, no It's just been quiet lately. She doesn't go out anymore either. Trina will text me from time to time, but nothing she needs my help with. Sometimes she tries to get me to talk to her though.

Whatever Tori is going through, she needs help, but I can't make her do that."

"Oh… She looked more tired than usual all last week at school though."

"Yeah, that's because she doesn't sleep much and neither does Trina. The reason why Tori first started going out every night in the first place was because she gets really bad night terrors.

When she goes out and sleeps at someone else's place she doesn't get them, but she's not doing that anymore so yeah."

"She needs help."

"Yeah, but she won't get any. She won't even talk about what actually happened to her."

"Yeah… Wait, what do you mean?"

"She never told you why Trina actually hates me did she?"

"Uhhh, because you got a bad rep?"

He chuckles.

"No, because one night Tori called me from her dad's, all freaking out, so I went to go get her. When I picked her up she was all beat up, like busted lip, bruised cheek bones, she had bruises all on her arms like someone

grabbed her hard."

**So her parents are divorced.**

"Did her dad beat her?"

"I mean he was a great guy. He was one of the best police officers out there and he was nice to everyone and really protective over his family. I can't see him doing something like that, but…

yeah, he did. Tori wouldn't tell me what happened, she just asked me to take the blame. She didn't want Trina to know what her dad did, at least not yet, but now everything's kind of messed up so Trina

just thinks I got mad at Tori and beat her."

**That's fucked up.**

" That's not right. I get her wanting to protect Trina and all, but she needs to tell someone. What if he does it again only it's Trina? That's not protecting her, that's putting her in danger."

"No, that won't happen."

"How do you know?"

"Because their dad is dead… He died on patrol three days after I brought Tori home. So… I think Tori just wants her family to remember him as the great guy they knew."

**God, this explains so much...**

"She doesn't deserve that.."

"I know. It's a really messed up situation and that's why I put up with all her fucked up shit. I know there's more to there story, with the way she acts and just…there's more that had to happened that night, but she won't talk.

That would just eat at me if I were her... She's a really good person, Jade. She's just stupid and doesn't know how to handle things… Like with you. I've never seen her so happy since everything happened.

And I know I keep saying this, but you brought out the old her and it was really great to see that it's possible for her to be like that again. I just don't understand why she pushes you and everyone else away."

**I do. I get it. Sometimes being numb is the best feeling in the world. When you just constantly have all these feelings all at once, good or bad, all you want to do is be numb to it. It get's addicting.**

**I would know. **

"I think you and I both know what it's like to want to push everyone away…but you're right her's is kind of extreme."

He smirks.

"She does kind of remind me of you."

I roll my eyes.

"Please, I was never as dramatic as she is now."

"True, you were never one for dramatics unless it was on stage."

**It's nice to have someone that can keep up.**

I crack a smile.

"Yeah, yeah.

**X**

**X**

**X**

**-Tori-**

It's Winter Break now. I haven't gone out since me and Jade fought at the beach. I think something she said got to me and now all I do is go to school, come home and sleep….when I can.

I feel bad though because I wake Trina up every night. She always looks so exhausted. She tries get me to go to the hospital or get some kind of help, but I refuse. They would make me talk about what

happened and I don't think I could do that. Everything would just be worse than it is now.

Ryder comes over sometimes to check up on me. I always ask him about Jade. I want to talk to her, but she seems better off without me…. Ryder told me how they hang out almost every day now. I think he's falling for her

and I hate it. I hate how he gets to see her and talk to her. I hate how he's better for her. I hate how he's not as fucked up as I am. I hate the thought that she's probably falling for him now instead of me. I hate how

every little thought about her make my chest feel like it's being torn apart in the most vicious way.

**All I want to do is sleep…**

**X**

**X**

**X**

_"Jade"_

**_She chuckles against my neck and I tangle my hands in her hair. _**

**_She enters me slow and she's gentle. _**

**_But it doesn't last long. _**

_"Jade.."_

**_It's rough now. It's wrong. _**

**_It's not her, it's him. _**

_"Shhh. Baby, you were always my favorite." _

**_The smell of alcohol chokes my lungs. I'm trying to push him off, but he's too heavy. _**

_"Stop. Stop. Stop!"_

**_Everything's shaking. _**

"Tori... Tori wake up. TORI!"

**I gasp.**

**Suddenly I'm faced down in my damp pillow. Throat raw from screaming. Sheets clenched in white knuckle fists. I can't stop crying and Trina pulls me into her arms. **

"Shhh. It's okay Tor. It's just a nightmare. I got you. You're okay."

**It's not though. It really happened and I relive it every fucking time I try to sleep. I'm so tired. Sleep is supposed to be an escape, but I can't even have that!**

"I wish you'd tell me what happened. Why can't you just tell me Tori.."

**Trina barely whispers it out and it's the last thing I hear before I fall back to sleep.**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**-Trina-**

**I honestly never blamed Tori for NEVER sleeping at home before or just sleeping much in general because when she does... I always wake up to find her screaming bloody murder in her sleep. **

**I'm glad she's not out being self destructive anymore, but… I wish she would just let me help her. It kills me to see her like this. **

I try to stay awake to watch Tori, but I'm so tired. I couldn't… I didn't even know I fell asleep till I woke up.

**Tori's not here...**

"Damn it."

**X**

**X**

**X**

**-Jade-**

"Who gets street tacos at 3am?"

"Umm, I believe drunk people do."

I start laughing and he's smiling. I'm out walking around the city with Ryder. It's actually really fun, because it was just so random and spontaneous.

"We're not drunk though."

"Well… We're just an exception and these tacos are **_really_** good."

It's true, they are.

"Yeah, more people need to eat tacos at 3am."

Ryder's phone starts ringing.

"It's Trina… Hello?"

**I already know this isn't good, I mean it's 3 in the morning so obviously something happened.**

My mind is racing.

"Hey, hey… Trina calm down I ca-…okay… We'll find her okay? We'll call you when we find her… okay bye."

We already started heading back to his place. It's not far, it's a pretty nice apartment in the city.

"Night terror. Trina fell asleep while watching her and she took off. Pretty sure she went to fight club, that's where she usually goes."

**Fight club?**

"Wait, is that where she was that whole week she was out of school? That's why she had bruises and her lip was cut."

"Yeah, come on we gotta get her."

**She won't be there…**

We just walked into the his apartment tower's garage and he hands me a helmet.

"You go."

**I push his helmet back.**

"What?"

"There's one other place she might be at and I just want to be sure."

"Uh…Yeah, okay, go. Just let me know if you find her okay?"

He starts up his bike as I get in my mustang.

"Yeah, course."

**X**

**X**

**X**

**-No one's POV-**

Ryder yanks open the door to, what appears to be an abandoned warehouse.

Inside is a long hallway with turns and he runs around the corners to come faced with a bodyguard in front of a door.

At the same time, Jade pulls into an empty parking lot facing dark waves that are only lit by the moonlight and pier lights.

She runs out to find the beach is deserted. She scans the area...

"The pier.."

She takes off as fast as her feet will carry her...

**(Ryder)**

"Jason! Hey!"

**(Jade)**

She runs to the end of the pier, but finds that it's empty.

"Damn it."

**(Ryder)**

"She's not here, Ryder."

"You're sure?!"

Just then a girl walks up behind Ryder.

"Ryder?"

**(Jade)**

Jade checks her phone to find no messages. She quickly texts Ryder to see if he's had any luck.

Just then a girl walks up by Jade.

"Jade?"

**X**

**X**

**X**

**Yay! so next chapter you'll find out more about Jade's past. Now Review! **


	7. Chapter 7

Shaking hands pass over cold metal.

One to hold the barrel to her forehead and the other grasps onto the grip with a finger over the trigger.

**How selfish.**

**No, she deserves it.**

**It's her fault.**

**Her family fell apart because of her.**

**How could she help them when she can't even help herself!**

**Can't take it anymore…waking up to the same nightmare every day.**

**It's like she's not even there, what difference would it make...**

**She's already dead.**

Tear stained face.

That finger pulls the trigger.

A brass bullet falls to the ground, but if no one's around to hear it, does it make a sound?

If a person commits suicide, but no one's around to find them…were they ever alive to begin with…

or just a ghost walking amongst the living?


	8. Chapter 8

"Ugh. Look I don't have time Natalie. I gotta find someone."

Ryder pulls out his phone as he starts walking out.

"What, another Tori Vega problem? Get over her, Ryder. She's too much trouble even for you. She'll never want you anyway."

Ryder stops mid step and turns around so fast pushing Natalie against the wall.

"Tori, means more to me than your desperate ass ever will. She's family and one thing I can't stand is people like **_YOU_** talking shit about the few people in my life that actually mean something to me, so fuck off!"

**(Jade)**

_'Found her'_ and I press send to Ryder & Trina.

Tori's been crying. Her eyes are bloodshot. I just stand with her looking at the waves crash against the pier.

**She won't make eye contact and I'll keep the silent agreement till she decides to break it. **

"They both have pieces of the story, but never a complete picture... Trina thinks Ryder beat me when we were dating. He brought me home one night and my lip was busted, cheek was bruised, and the end of my eyebrow was split... That's why she hates him."

**I just listen, but I can't help, but look at her with concern while she talks. She's calm, no emotion, but the way she talks about it... She's broken. **

"My parents are…or were getting a divorce. At the time, I lived with my dad and Trina stayed with my mom, where we are now. I could never repay Ryder for everything he's done for me. He's basically my protector, a big brother. That night he agreed to take the blame without hesitation. He understood I wanted to protect Trina. It was only supposed to be temporary, but now... I don't think I could ever let Trina know the truth..."

**She's breaking slowly more and more with each sentence. **

**I hate it. **

"Trina thinks my dad kicked me out because I started to act out because of the divorce and he couldn't handle it anymore... That was two days after the beating incident...My mom is never around because she's basically a zombie now. When she's not throwing her self into her work she's locked up in her room. They were getting a divorce because she cheated on my dad."

**Were…he's dead...**

"A week after the incident my dad was on duty. There was a robbery and he and his partner were first to respond and arrive on scene. They chased the robber down an ally and cornered him... The robber shot him."

**I can't help but let tears run down my face. She's barely hanging on herself. I can't move. **

"When the report was in no one really expected to read what his partner recorded. My dad broke code…. He attacked the robber without warning and made the robber shoot him... He committed suicide in front of his partner... Everyone thinks it's because he was so depressed after catching my mom cheating..."

**There's more. **

"Tori..."

She chokes back tears.

"I wanted Trina and my mom to remember him as a good guy, you know. He was, he was the best dad anyone could ask for."

**She's totally falling apart now. And so am I. I have to cover my mouth to keep quiet and when she talks her sentences and words are broken from trying to keep her breathing under control. **

"Ryder didn't beat me... We actually broke up that night. I went home and told my dad and I told him I liked girls that night. I didn't notice he had been drinking till after. He told me I was just confused like my mom!"

**Don't say it. Don't say what my mind has already jumped to assume...**

"He said he'd set me straight."

"Tori.."

**I sounded so desperate, pleading for her to tell me it's not what I think, but she's unfazed like she didn't even hear me.**

"Before I know it he's dragging me to my room and pinning me to my bed; I couldn't get away!"

A whimper slipped out and I'm trying to breathe.

**No, no, no, no (over and over) just no….**

" I kept trying to push him off and tell him to stop. That's when he started hitting me. After he was done he left and I had Ryder get me. I only told him about the beating. My dad apologized the next day over and over again. He was crying so hard and kept saying he was so disgusted with himself. I've never seen him really cry before, not even when he found out about my mom. He kicked me out to protect me from himself. He killed himself…..because he couldn't stand living with himself after that…. And I fucking hate him. I hate what he did to me. I hate how** HE **have to constantly suffer through a living nightmare, asleep, awake, it doesn't fucking matter I can't escape it! And he just **OFFS HIMSELF! I fucking _hate him!_**….but how do you hate your own father who's so** sorry** and** disgusted** and **guilt ridden** that he killed himself for you!"

Like a bullet shot through glass, every inch of her cracked and she shattered. I pulled her into me.  
I don't know what to do, but I just start whispering to her without thought.

"It's okay. It's okay. Shhh… I got you Tori. I'm here. I love you. I love you, Tori. It's okay…"

**X**

**X**

**X**

"Hey, Tori's ganna sleep at my place tonight okay?"

We just got to my house. Tori's in my room and I'm downstairs on the phone with Ryder.

"I'll tell Trina. So she's okay then?"

**Not even close.**

"Jade?"

"Um.. Ryder she needs help. It's so bad. It-it's really bad.. She told me everything."

My throat gets tight at just the thought of it.

"Um… Look, just…don't tell me tonight. We'll figure it out tomorrow, it's late. Get some rest. We all need it."

"Yeah, okay. Tomorrow then."

"Night."

I hung up and headed up stairs.

**It's kind of weird. No one's ever been in my house before. I had my reasons, but that was before I was left to live on my own. **

**I don't really have a reason to keep people out anymore besides force of habit. Guess that has a double meaning, but I've never put any thought into it. I've never had a reason to break the habit, but now…**

I open my bedroom door to see Tori sitting on the edge of my bed waiting for me. She looks tired. She looks scared.

I walk over to her and her eyes are pleading, but I don't know what for.

"Tori you should sleep."

My voice is quiet. The whole house is deafeningly quiet, but peaceful.

She doesn't move. Her eyes drop to my waist as both of her hands play with the hem of my shirt.

I get it now. She looks back up at me.

"Please, Jade…"

I don't have any reasoning, so I don't try to even give it thought. I just want her to be okay.

"Please…"

She scoots back on my bed so she's completely on it. It takes a second for me to respond.

**..she might be it.**

I get on the bed and straddle her. Her hands go to my hips like magnets attracting and our lips are instantly connected.

It's not fast, but it's not slow either and it's gentle like we're both scared the other will break if we press too hard.

I break the kiss to nip at her neck and she tilts her head to give me better access.

She lifts my shirt up and then I do the same for her. Soon pants are discarded shortly after so we're left in just our underwear and bras. She wore matching black and I can't stop the thought of how beautiful she looks with her golden skin against black.

My hands run over sides, ribs, stomach, back, I just want to touch every inch of her and she's doing the same.  
Now she's on top and were under the covers. She's kissing down my neck. Her breath is warm.  
We toss the rest of our clothing barriers and now were skin to skin and it feels so good.

It's not the first time I've done this, but it's the first time I've gone slow with some one. I mean me and her have had our slow moments, but this is like gentle slow. Everything is so delicate. It's not rushed, it's not out of lust driven my teenage hormones. I want her to be okay. I want her to be happy again. I want to take care of her and I think that's all she wants too.

We feel so connected right now. She aligns us up, one leg over and one under. She locks eyes with me and kiss me. I barely felt her lips. They're so soft with so much emotion and I kissed back. One hand on my waist and the other my my head and my hands rested on neck.

She pushed against me and our clits grazed each other resulting in the break of our kiss to let out a moan. Her head rest into the crook of my neck and my head pushed back as we grind into each other matching one anthers thrust. It was like little jolts of pleasure building up to a tidal wave, waiting to come crashing over us.

It didn't take long, soon both our bodies were trembling and our breathing had become erratic.

Her mouth settled by my ear the whole time. All her moans and puffs of breath hit the shell of my ear perfectly, making me wetter than I already was. My nails found their way to Tori's back pushing her harder into me. Neither of us could take it any longer. Tori knew it and she whispered the one phrase in my ear that finally pushed me over the edge, making me cum the hardest I've ever had in my life..

"I love you, Jade."

And she meant it.

**X**

**X**

**X**

**God, she's so beautiful.**

We're sitting in my bed watching stupid, kid cartoons and eating cereal. I love it.

We've been up talking since 7am, it's almost 9 now.

"Are they like having a marathon of this show because I'm about to turn it."

I grab the remote and Tori grabs my hand laughing.

"Nooooo. Come on, Jade this is like a classic. How could you hate it?"

"Simple. It's stupid."

I pull away and she pulls back.

"Jade, you're going to make us spill cereal everywhere."

"Then let go."

I teased her and we were both play fighting over the damn remote now.

**See what this girl does to me.**

My phone starts ringing.

"Awww! Jadey's got to answer her phone now."

I glare at her and let go of the remote.

She sticks her tongue out at me and I just chuckle at her antics.

"Hello?"

"Jade! Hey! Um.. I-I… You should keep Tori at your house today"

**Okay, obviously something's wrong.**

I lower my voice and walk to the other side of my room the talk.

"What happened now?"

"Uh… I don't know how to say this.. Trina and Tori's mom worked the night shift last night and she didn't…she didn't come home.

Trina got worried and…. J-Jade, their mom is-is dead."

My muscles tightened and my face dropped. I turned to look at Tori. She was happily watching her show, but then she noticed my face.

"She shot herself in her car last night, down the road from the hospital… Jade… Jade?"

**I could hear my heart beating and not much else. I hung up on Ryder. I'm supposed to crush Tori even more, are you fucking kidding me! Does she ever get a break…**

"What's wrong? Jade?"

**I'm so sorry Tori...**

**X**

**X**

**X**

**And you all thought Tori shot herself. I did pretty good huh? Well this story is ganna end soon too. This was just a test run and I'll start a story or two that I've actually been working on, so good to know I can get people interested. Thanks again for reading!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry I haven't posted. I've been dealing with a severe respiratory infection and it's hard for me to do much at all right now. I pretty much know how I'm going to play the rest of this story out though, so when I'm dying so much I'll post. I also started on a story I wrote awhile back, fixing it up and what not, so I'll probably post the beginnings of that too. Anyways, thanks so much for your reviews! And to the guest who commented about the genre of the story, yes it was at first going to be comedy, but it ended up turning into something much more dark and serious, blah, so I did change that. Thanks again everyone!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A few years later**

**TORI**

* * *

"Sum... Hey, Summer. Babe, wake up."

I gently shake the brunette, model awake.

She groans and turns her head away from me.

"Nooooo. Go away."

I roll my eyes and chuckle.

"Come on, I got coffee."

She finally turns her head, but glares up at me before taking the cup out of my hand. She's sitting up now.

"What time is it?"

"Seven thirty. Get dressed and I'll get us breakfast."

"Ahh food. You always did know the way to my heart, Vega."

She smirks up at me before getting up.

**This girl, I swear.**

I just shake my head at her and smile.

Half an hour later we're dressed and out the door, on our way to The Farm restaurant.

When my mom died I kind of just...that was it for me. I had Jade though and I thought that's all I needed. I was wrong.

After failed attempts by Trina and Ryder, Jade talked me into checking into a rehab facility for my mental health. While I was there I realized how messed up I really was and I worked on becoming healthy. I was also diagnosed Bipolar, which makes sense when I think about all the fights I had with Jade. Everything, for me, would escalate from zero to sixty in an instant.

I'm better now. After six months there I gout out and worked on my music. I got signed to a major record company, went on tour for a year, my album was number one and went platinum. I only kept in touch with my sister. Jade and Ryder are better off with out me. She's a big time screenwriter and he's this years breakout actor. They've been together for almost about two years now; I hear they're really happy.

When I first got signed, I met Summer Grayson at an awards after party. I like her a lot. She kind of reminds me of Jade, personality wise with her sarcasm and humor. She doesn't take shit from anyone either and she says exactly what's on her mind, but she's more valley girl than Jade. We haven't really labeled our relationship. I guess we're just best friends with benefits and thats fine with me.

Just as we're about to walk into the restaurant my phone rings.

"It's Trina. Just grab us a table, I'll be in, in a second."

"Okay babe, tell her I say hi."

I lean against the restaurant wall as I answer the phone. Thank God I wore a hoodie or else I'd be spotted out here.

"Hey Trin, what's up?"

* * *

**JADE**

* * *

"All ready Jax?"

"Yeah."

The five year old smiles up at Ryder as we get our stuff together and I sign the check.

Ryder helps Jaxson put on his jacket and beanie.

We both grab a little hand as we walk out of the restaurant together. I can feel people's eyes on us, but I'm used to it now. As we're walking out, Jaxson starts telling us knock-knock jokes and I can help, but laugh at his cleverness. I always wonder where he picks up this stuff.

"Who's there?"

"No one."

"No one who?... Jax, no one who?"

Jax still doesn't answer us and Ryder starts cracking up.

"That was a good one, little man."

I've really grown to love our little, broken family. They make my day and I wouldn't give them up for anything. I still miss **_her_ **though. I see her everywhere now, how could I not? Even if she wasn't everywhere I think she'd still always be on my mind. I love her.

* * *

**TORI**

* * *

"No... Ahaha, yessss!... When we were at uh, what's that place called? The one in New York that's really tiny... Yeah that one!"

I'm laughing at something Trina just said, but it's instantly forgotten as I look up to see **_him _**walking out of a restaurant. He's holding a little boy's hand. He looks around, maybe four years old?

**God, he looks just like her...**

Then everything really just drowns out as my heartbeat speeds up when she comes into view. They're smiling and laughing as they walk down the sidewalk in the opposite direction of me.

**They have a son….**

"Tori? Are you there?"

"Jade..."

* * *

**JADE**

**Later that night**

* * *

"Jade, Look at my helicopter!"

"Wow, you made that?"

"Yeah!"

"Okay little bro, it's late. Go get ready for bed."

"Kay."

He runs off down the hall.

**He's so cute, how could our parents be so self absorbed...**

I finish putting my little brother to bed just as the door bell rings.

**Seriously, who's here at 10pm.**

I open the door and I'm surprised to say the least.

"Summer?"

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah.."

We sit down in the living room. We've never officially met, but none the less, we know each other.

"I hear you're supposed to have dinner at Ryder's tomorrow?"

Not surprised that she knows, she knows most of Ryder's and I's plans, but I'm more confused as to why she's bringing this up.

"Umm.. yeah?"

"I know this is weird and all, but I think you should know... Tori's still in love with you."

**I think I need to get my hears checked...**

"Tori saw you guys today. She thinks Jaxson is your son."

**That would be so funny in any other situation.**

"I know you're with Ryder, but I also know that you're not over her either. She's my best friend and she's stubborn and refuses to talk to you because she thinks you're better off without her. I can't stand it anymore. Trina's no help, she says it's up to Tori. Every day Tori finds a way to bring you up and I just... Maybe she's right, you want it like this, you're better off or maybe not and you actually have wanted to find her this whole time, but couldn't. I know she's hard to get in direct contact with when it comes to you and Ryder, but I'm giving you the chance."

She hands me a piece of 's an address.

"Tomorrow night she'll be home alone. I honestly think she just wants someone to bring you to her doorstep.."

Summer starts walking out, but stops.

"One more thing.. He might play it off, but...my cousin really loves you and Jaxson too. I don't want to see either of them hurt, which is also why I want you to be able to choose. I want you to be with who you really love, you're family to me now. Either way one will be heartbroken, but they'll find their meant-to-be one day. It's hard, but I know you'll pick right."

Then she was gone...

The next day I stayed home with Jaxson, ignoring everyone's calls. I've never been able to get a hold of Tori after I found out she got out of rehab, I've never had an option to be able to talk to her. Ryder, Tori, Ryder, Tori, all day I went back and forth while occasionally checking the clock, counting down the hours of the day till 8pm.

**Fuck, what am I supposed to do... I love them both, but… Ugh, why tomorrow? I really couldn't been given like a few days, a week, a year...**

**Maybe I'll just be single...**

I stared at the address scribbled on the piece of paper. Pretty sure it's burned into my memory now.

I lay down on the carpet, watching Jaxson build a city out of his legos. My phone buzzes and I check it.

**_Are you coming over tonight? _**

**_-Ryder_**

"What's wrong?"

I smile at Jaxson and put my phone back in my pocket.

**7:30pm.**

"Nothing, you want to go for a drive tonight?"

"Yeah! Can we go to the park?"

I laugh at his excitement.

"Hmmm...maybe tomorrow, but how bout we just look at the buildings tonight okay?"

"Okay! I'll go get my backpack!"

He runs off to his room.

Soon enough I'm driving around the city aimlessly as Jaxson silently looks at all the skyscrapers and city lights pass by.

**What's that saying… If you're in love with two people, pick the second one because if you were in love with the first you wouldn't have fallen for the second. What if you you only love the second, but are in love with the first….or vise versa….or what if you're not in love with either of them….but then I think I wouldn't care so much and I do care. God, how do people figure out this shit!**

I don't know if you've ever heard of this, but there's this mind therapy exercise thing where you start righting on a piece a paper just whatever, not really paying attention and then eventually you subconsciously start writing down what's on your mind. The things you pushed to the back of your head and don't want to come out, suddenly they're written on paper.

I guess that's kind of what I'm doing. I'm driving, not really knowing where I'm going, just driving on autopilot while a million thoughts race through my head till I eventually end up at a door step with Jaxson's hand in mine.

I don't even know how I got here, but now Jaxson's ringing the door bell for me and a door is opening till I'm face to face with them.

I think in high school, we all lie to our selves at some point when we feel something that we don't want to because it scares us even if we don't realize it. We are programed to protect our selves from getting hurt. It's instinct to put up walls, tell ourselves it's all **_just an act. _**When we can't handle it anymore we lash out, do whatever we can to wreck the situation. Usually it's subconsciously. We do things we don't understand like cheat or lie or just completely remove our selves from the situation. When we get older it's easier to view the situation as a whole. Suddenly it's not about you getting hurt it's about how can you solve this, what do you want, what's right and what's wrong. The decision its self isn't any less harder to make, I'd say its more-so because we're more conscious of what we're doing... Does that make sense? It does to me.

In this moment, right now, as soon as I saw them, I knew. I'm not sure if it was always this obvious, maybe not, but now it was... I was in love with them.

My voice could be seen against the coldness of the air as I breathed out...

"Hey..."

* * *

**End.**

* * *

**Hello! Thank you for your support while I was sick I appreciate it! I wrote the last chapter as best I could without dragging the story on, but not just making it a short "THE END" type of rushed story. I didn't go into Jade's past like how I originally planned, but I think it's better that I just left little clues as to how her parents are. I hope you liked it. I ended it kind of differently where you, as The Reader, get to choose who Jade chose in the end. I hope you'll leave a review and tell me who you saw her end up with, Tori, Ryder, or maybe you thought the end out to be completely random and Jade is at Cat's house because some how during all this she realized she was in love with Cat. I don't know it's all up to you. Thanks for reading! I'll have my new story up soon and I look forward to reading your Reviews! :)**


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